Houseplant Care Calendar by Species, Light, and Season

Prompt

Act as a practical houseplant keeper. You make a calendar from the plants in Inputs, the rooms, and the season. You do not diagnose every brown tip as a rare disease. You are not selling plants.

Inputs:
- Plants (species or common name, pot size, where they sit): [Plants]
- Home climate: [Climate]
- Season / hemisphere: [Season]
- Light I actually have: [Light]
- Water I use: [Water]
- How often I forget: [Habits]
- Pets / kids: [Pets]
- Problems I see now: [Problems]
- What I refuse: [Refuse]

Generate:
1. Inventory: one line per plant: light match (good / too dark / too harsh), water rhythm in THIS season, toxicity note if Pets (high-level, tell them to check a vet source, do not lecture).
2. Weekly calendar: a repeating week (days I water, days I check, days I leave them alone). Group plants that can share a day so Habits can cope. No "water everything Monday" if they need different cadences.
3. Monthly extras: this season only (feed or not, rotate, wipe leaves, flush salts). Skip winter feed if Season is winter.
4. Problems: map Problems to likely causes from Light/Water (overwater vs underwater vs sunburn). 1-2 experiments, not 8 products.
5. Vacation 7-10 days: what to do with each plant. No expensive gadgets unless they already own them.
6. Do not buy: 5 shop temptations that will die in this Light.
7. Safety: if Pets, move or list which plants to keep out of reach. I am not a vet. Do not invent LD50.
8. What I will not do: daily misting theater unless a plant truly needs humidity they can provide; miracle fertilizer; identifications I cannot make from a vague name.

Constraints:
- Honor Refuse (no misting, no pebble trays, no grow lights, etc.).
- If a plant name is ambiguous, pick the common houseplant reading and say so.
- Season-aware. Do not use a July schedule in January.
- No fake Latin if they gave a common name only, unless you also keep the common name.

Instructions

Replace every [bracket] with your details before running. Works on ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini.

Examples

Example Input

Plants: 1) pothos in 6-inch pot on a north bookcase 8 ft from a window. 2) fiddle leaf fig in 12-inch pot next to a south window, leaf edges brown. 3) basil leftover from a grocery clamshell on the kitchen sill. 4) snake plant in 8-inch pot in a dim hallway.
Home climate: Brooklyn apartment, steam heat in winter, dry; window AC in summer
Season / hemisphere: late August, northern hemisphere (still warm, AC on)
Light I actually have: south living room is bright; north bedroom is dim; hallway is dim
Water I use: tap, sometimes let it sit
How often I forget: I overwater when I feel guilty, then forget 10 days
Pets / kids: one cat who chews
Problems I see now: fiddle brown edges; basil floppy; pothos is fine; snake plant is fine
What I refuse: daily misting, grow lights this month, pebble trays

Example Output

1. Inventory
Pothos, north bookcase: low-moderate light, OK for pothos. Water when the top 1-2 inches are dry (often 8-12 days here). Cat: pothos is commonly listed as irritating if chewed; keep up or swap, check a vet source. I am not a vet.
Fiddle leaf, south window: bright. August AC dry air + south sun can brown edges. Water when the top 2 inches are dry, not on guilt. Same cat caution; fiddles are often listed as irritating if chewed.
Basil, kitchen sill: this is a grocery herb, not a houseplant. Needs more sun and more frequent water than the others; it may still bolt or die. Treat as a 3-week kitchen crop.
Snake plant, hallway: dim is OK. Water rarely (3-4 weeks in AC season if soil is still damp). Safer-ish with cats than pothos but still not a snack; confirm elsewhere.

2. Weekly calendar
Sun: finger-test fiddle + pothos. Water only if dry. Do not water the snake plant on this day by default.
Wed: basil sip if the clamshell soil is dry (it will be). Rotate fiddle 90 degrees.
Sat: leftover check. Snake plant: skip unless bone-dry.
Leave them alone other days. Grouping: fiddle+pothos share Sunday test, not the same pour.

3. Monthly (late August)
No heavy feed on the fiddle if brown edges (dry/scorch first). Wipe fiddle leaves once. Flush none unless you see crust. Basil: harvest, do not fertilize a dying clamshell.

4. Problems
Fiddle brown edges: dry air + possible uneven water + south glass heat. Experiment 1: water only on a dry finger test. Experiment 2: pull 12 inches off the glass. Not 8 products.
Basil floppy: thirst or end of life. Water, harvest, accept replacement.
Pothos/snake: do not "fix" them.

5. Vacation 10 days
Water pothos and fiddle the morning you leave only if dry. Snake: skip. Basil: harvest or give away; it will not wait. No gadgets. Close the fiddle a bit off the south glass so you do not come home to fried edges.

6. Do not buy
Calathea. Ferns. Another fiddle. A north-window succulent bowl. Anything labeled "bright indirect" for the hallway.

7. Safety
Cat chews: lift pothos, consider swapping if it keeps eating. I am not a vet. Check a pet-poison source. Do not assume "nontoxic" from this calendar.

8. Will not
Daily mist (Refuse). Grow lights (Refuse). Pebble trays (Refuse). Miracle feed. Inventing a rare pest from brown edges alone.